We have been discussing a situation like you for quite from the first post; pondering over the power that humans have over other humans and the power that nature and systems have over humans.
But whoa – I also have the power to stand on a moving train and the only one stopping myself from jumping off is me. Even when that mosquito is sucking on a reachable part of my external skins and I decide to end its life SLAP. When I am flying over a cloud and I look down thinking “I wouldn’t mind if I plummeted right this instant. This is it. This is my happy moment” – like I could cross over the river styx, go to glory, cease to exist, poof vanish etc.
But I’m not talking about like that sick feeling of sadness that covers you up like when your throat burns when you are going to cry. This is the feeling of blisss.. AAAH. Not having the past plague you and/or the crushing remorse of not doing things I should have done and remembering poignant occasions of cognitive dissonance, and reliving peeing pants kind of embarrassments, thinking about the future deadlines to meet or choices to make, not thinking about dependents and those around.
(can’t remember good things also)
In my epoch of being sensitively aware of what is happening around me and within me like I am going to cease to exist at that right moment. (HP&DH Ch 33) Because when I stop, the world around me stops and I just. Don’t. Need. To. Care. Anymore.
A very narrow, self-centred of looking at things, but nevertheless quite refreshing when I have been too involved in the material pursuits of daily life and get overwhelmed by it all. Or when you feel like I have been moving forward too fast.
The purveyor wants movement and evolution and nachos being chewed and cows milked and exams written, trees being felled etc. But that little (uses unparliamentary adjective) also realises that choosing a path destroys the other which means that progress presupposes destruction. Movement creates the sad things in the world which also makes you feel bad and blame yourself for purportless details that aren’t under your control.
So just stop thinking.
STOP THE MOVEMENT. LIKE, WE NEED A REVOLUTION TO JUST STOP, but it shouldn’t be a revolution. It should just stop, get it?
To attain placidity is to enforce apathy. Realise the power you already have yo.
Ugh that made me feel very Marx-y. Do whatever you want dudes.
Apologising in advance if I made you read again and then stare blankly at the wall on understanding this