hello I’m human and I like attention

Dear Attention Seeking Behaviour,

Why do we scream in pain?

When you stub your toe, the pain impulse reaches the brain and it has already started strategizing possible recovery options with all the efficiency of a war general and has considered every possibility including just holding it in a death vice anything to stop the pain oh god but it still finds the time to instruct your larynx to let out a blood curling scream followed by ten minutes of profanities and curses aimed at wishing the chair leg to the fiery depths of hell. Why though? It serves no pragmatic purpose. It certainly doesn’t heal the angry red welt slowly appearing on the toe. But it does let everyone around you know you’re in pain and therein lies the crux of my point.

Dismissing certain behaviour as merely ‘attention seeking’ is as callous as dismissing humans as ‘just less hairy neanderthals’. Our evolutionary mandate requires us to be social animals, dependent and thriving off of one another. ‘Excessive’ attention seeking is perceived as unhealthy but who decides what excessive is?

We do peculiar things almost every day. Look at that girl in the big group laughing, nay, howling while hitting the person next to her repeatedly. It’s probably not that funny. In fact it might have just earned a mildly stoic poker faced ‘LOL i’m screaming’ while texting but when she’s around people, it’s natural to be a bit more dramatic and share the mirth. Exaggerated coughing to gain sympathy, eye rolling when the other person is being so spectacularly obnoxious that words cannot express your displeasure and even crying to some extent are ploys for attention.

We started this right from when we were mini humans. Bawling Babies. Apart from the rational reasons, we also cried whenever we felt the danger of our parents starting to have lives that weren’t centered around our every diaphragm movement or when we haven’t heard the words ‘aww so cute’ in a New York minute(that’s seven seconds)

Everything becomes a bit more real when it’s shared. Sure, you can enjoy a beautiful sunrise alone, but most of us would still capture it to show it to someone, marveling at its beauty and bragging about photography skills which unfortunately are probably non-existent cause let’s face it, the nature does all the work.

Anyway, the point is, you’re so much more than the words used to describe someone dying their hair green. You are centuries of behaviour patterns, chronicling our evolution as socially dependent hive beings. I’m going to petition to ban you being used to derogatorily dismiss trolling. That will not be your legacy.


please do not feed the trolls,



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