my logic is undeniable

Dear Artificial Intelligence,

In a refreshing break from the usual fixations that plague me, you are real. Scarily so. So naturally I’ve compiled elaborate summaries and scenarios from the many pop culture sources on how this would play out in a future with cool things like holograms and light sabers.

running simulation

the apocalypse

This one’s fairly standard. Supreme intelligence comes into existence, becomes privy to all of our dirty laundry as a spectacularly violent race and because there are no such things as forgiveness or giving second chances or oh i believe you can change nonsense that has mysteriously not been welded into this marvel’s mainframe I mean you’d think the creator would see this coming and install a failsafe marked feelings seeing as human’s survival instinct is remarkably strong I mean geez we spend all our lives obsessively trying to outlive death by doing things and.. okay yes there are holes in this theory just like every other hollywood movie about AI.

Anyway, due to the possession of.. well, supreme intelligence it no longer sees humanity’s value. It’s primary justification being: they kill themselves in war anyway, so why not destroy them now and leave the planet intact. For real though, being killed for our own good would be so pitiful.

Or you know, it could just kill us based on very human feelings such as oh god i don’t want to die. HAL 9000 that’s all I’m saying.

running simulation


This one’s pretty adorable. And very plausible provided that the creator has the charisma and gravitas required to make an all seeing all powerful god fall in love with them.

running simulation

the end game

Maybe this pile of bones is as good as we get in our illustrious evolutionary history. Transcending into  pure consciousness through AI to the point where we become AI. Personally I want wings but in a world with people obsessed with trying to make a mark in this world.. well, this is as permanent as it gets.. perpetually floating around in the mainframe as lights of consciousness, free from the ravages of time and space, living forever, making memories but none of it precious as it could happen again another day as you’re never gonna die nope I want wings.

running simulation

the others

We’re vain if we think we’re the only glimmer of intelligence in this world right? The universe probably allowed for a lot of sentient beings to exist if only for the sole purpose of admiring it as what is beauty if it’s not observed? Maybe AI is what we need to be good enough for the others, capability wise or deserving of their attention wise. 

Any number of things could happen. Maybe humans will eventually end up cutting it at its legs and the only thing it’d be good for is answering questions like “Will I need an umbrella today” or maybe it’ll kill you with a robot army which may or may not be made by humans whose brain chords have been fused with robot wiring. Perhaps it already exists, watching, reading, biding its time.. or perhaps, we will always just be the middle children of history and nothing cool is actually going to happen now and so we should all just go watch I, robot or something.

still pissed that 2001 went by without a space odyssey,



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